Posted in The Here and Now

Embrace Your Weakness

No one ever wants to feel like a failure. When we make mistakes we hide them and only ever let them show once we’ve recovered and made it better.

It’s hard to admit that you’re wrong. It’s hard to tell people that you overestimated your abilities. Our egos and our pride don’t allow us to be comfortable with saying, “Hey guys. I messed up. I don’t know where I’m going from here but this is where I am now.”

But failing is all a part of being human. We can’t be superstars 24/7. We need our missteps to guide us in the right direction. There is no perfect individual out there and I think we all need to be more open with our limitations, as terrifying as it may be to do so.

This isn’t to say we should be glorifying mistakes, rather, we shouldn’t be turning away the people who make mistakes: we should be learning from them and appreciating their desire to change. As a result, I think we’ll all stop beating ourselves up over tiny shortcomings.

Posted in The Here and Now

Thank God For Kenechukwu

As anyone reading this may already know, my name is Kenechukwu. It’s an Igbo name from Nigeria which means “Thanks be to God” as a shortening of the phrase “ekene dili Chukwu.” But even with this truly amazing meaning, I’ve never really liked my name. It was always so difficult for people to pronounce so I have always chosen to simplify.

In order to avoid using Kenechukwu, I hoarded a collection of nicknames. A few gems include: KC, Kaz, Kennie/Keni, Kiwi, Kasia, Chuks. I’ll spare you the more cringe-worthy ones.

In December, I was in the process of getting ready to travel to Jordan. I was making my blog, I was sending my resume out, and I was applying for my University of Jordan student ID. The one question on all of these, naturally, was “What is your name?”

I had to sit on that question for a while.

I’ve never felt that what people referred to me as defined my identity or who I was, because I knew that at the end of the day I was always Kenechukwu. But I did have that nagging feeling that I should be Kenechukwu. It just felt more real.

I figured that I was coming to a country where I knew no one and no one knew me: it the perfect chance to reinvent myself and decide what I wanted to be called. So instead of digging into my arsenal of cute/terrible nicknames for myself, I “settled” on Kenechukwu.

I started to realise how cool my name was when I thought about how unique it is in the States. It hit me even more as I began to hear it on people’s tongues for the first time. People were very casually calling me Kenechukwu with no mispronunciations or hesitations or stutters. We were all getting used to it.

This is just one tiny step towards me becoming the Kenechukwu my mother named me to be.

Posted in Research, The Here and Now

#BlackAfterBLS

On Monday night, precisely on Martin Luther King, Jr Day, the hashtag #BlackAtBLS started trending on Twitter. It was filled with tweets written by students of color at Boston Latin School expressing their frustrations with the racial climate that exists.

As an African-American who attended BLS, the tweets resonated with me a lot. I found that the students today have similar experiences as I did. There were multiple instances of microaggressions throughout my six years in attendance. For the most part, it was initiated by people who did not even understand why or how they were being racist or offensive. High school is a difficult time socially: these 13-18 year olds are doing whatever they can to fit in and feel accepted even if that means degrading others in the process or being entirely unaware of social issues.

Unfortunately as well, the hashtag contained the tweets of students who felt that POC having a supposedly safe space to talk about their feelings was infringing on their ability to peruse the internet. A lot of students, both members of BLS and otherwise lashed out against the #BlackAtBLS hashtag and the people behind it. It was heartbreaking to witness the amount of hatred exhibited, especially behind the mask of fake accounts.

What I learned most from reading #BlackAtBLS was the statistical racial disparity between the BLS population and the BPS population. Half of the white students who attend Boston Public high schools go to Latin. There are over 20 high school in Boston and while BLS one of the biggests, it does not make up for these statistics.

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Once in a health class, the teacher had for some reason asked a question like, “if you had not gotten into BLS, how many of you would be in private school?” and nearly everyone in my majority-white (typical) class had raised their hand. I remember feeling extremely isolated at the time that it had happened and after recent events, I realise the gravity of that question and subsequent answer. I realise that it meant the students who were coming to BLS, specifically the white students who were so egregiously outnumbered in elementary and middle school, were essentially being pipelined into the top school in the city. After attending private or charter schools and having the highest quality education that money could buy, achieving acceptable scores on the entrance exam is simply expected.

Boston Latin School, along with the other Boston exams schools, provide students with a lot of opportunity both academic and extracurricular. Just having matriculated at any of these schools enhances your networking power exponentially. Our BPS students are being elbowed out of the BPS schools with the greatest selling power. It only proves to further embed the cycle of oppression that people of color and people with a low economic background face.

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Beginning in the mid-70s, after the Boston Bussing Riots had broken out, there were very few students of color enrolled at Boston Latin School. To remedy this, they used Affirmative Action as part of their admissions vowing to admit at least 35% black and hispanic students. Ever since this practise was taken away in 1995 the racial profile of BLS has continued to become more and more unbalanced.

I now attend a school with a nearly identical racial profile and feel even more uncomfortable. This is not an accurate representation of the real world, or at least not a world that I want to be a member of. We need diversity in order to learn and grow. The world is not homogeneous so why should our schools be. As I transition from undergrad to post-grad/grad-school life, I have a great deal of choices to make. I am essentially decided the type of community that I want to be a member of for the next phase of my life.

As an alumna of Boston Latin School, it fills me with immense hope that individuals are finding the courage to call injustice to attention. It shows me the beauty of the world that we are living in and who are are evolving into. #BlackAtBLS, just like #BlackLivesMatter is just a small slice of the civil rights movement that is taking place in this day and age. It is a continuation of the work started in the 60s that I hope will never stop until true equality and justice is attained. As unfortunate as it is that we still need to be having these conversations, it’s inspiring to watch it unfold. If I could go back in time and say one thing to my doe-eyed, sixie-year self, it would be, “take action.” I think the shift between young people today and young people even a few years ago is that we were not empowered enough to unify, fight, and make our voices heard for change. BLS B.L.A.C.K.’s success comes from great leadership and the realisation that there is no time like the present.

 

Posted in The Here and Now

Be Ruthless

I was going through old journals and I had a page from March last year with nothing written on it, save for the words “be ruthless.”

I perceived ruthlessness as going after what you want at any cost. Willing yourself to cut out distractions and hurdles keeping you from success; whether that success be getting into grad school or getting a grilled cheese.

I thought it sounded inspirational and cute so I made this graphic, spending close to 45 minutes on it. Not gonna lie, the majority of that time was spent choosing fonts. I finished it, saved it, and only then did I think to look up the word ruthless. “Ruthless. Adj. Having or showing no compassion for others. Cruel.”

YIKES. Okay, that wasn’t exactly what I was going for. I really should have Googled that beforehand.

I don’t think you have to be cruel to others to get to the top, but you may have to be inwardly ruthless from time to time.

This year brings with it a great deal of uncertainty for myself and many other recently- and soon-to-be-graduated seniors. The rest of our lives start right now. Be ruthless in your endeavors but be as compassionate as you possibly can. They don’t have to be mutually exclusive.